Sushi Etiquette, Without the Anxiety: How to Eat at a Tokyo Counter

Search the internet for “sushi etiquette” and you will find fifty rules, half of them contradictory, most of them frightening. Here is the truth from behind the counter: a Tokyo sushi chef wants you to relax, eat well, then leave happy. This guide separates the customs that genuinely matter from the myths you can safely ignore – so you can sit down at any counter in Tokyo with quiet confidence.

The etiquette that actually matters

Real sushi etiquette is not a test of knowledge; it is a small set of habits that keep the food at its best while respecting the people around you. If you practice only what follows, you will be a welcome guest at any counter in Japan:

Notice what is not on the list: using the wrong hand, bowing incorrectly, mispronouncing a fish. Chefs serve travelers every week; sincerity outranks polish every time.

Hands or chopsticks?

Both are correct for nigiri. Eating with fingers is the older Edo tradition – sushi began as street food – and many chefs quietly prefer it because fingers compress the rice less than chopsticks do. Chopsticks are equally acceptable, always used for sashimi.

If you do use chopsticks, tip the nigiri gently onto its side to pick it up – it holds together better than gripping it upright.

Soy sauce, wasabi & gari

Soy sauce

The single most useful habit: dip the fish, not the rice. Rice absorbs soy sauce like a sponge, overwhelms the seasoning already in the piece, then falls apart in the dish. Tilt the piece so only the topping touches the sauce – a light kiss, not a swim.

At many omakase counters you will find no soy dish at all. The chef brushes each piece with nikiri (seasoned soy) before serving; the piece arrives complete. Taste first – reaching for extra seasoning before tasting is the sushi equivalent of salting a dish you have not tried.

Wasabi

The chef has already placed the right amount between fish & rice. Mixing wasabi into your soy sauce is common at casual restaurants – at a fine counter it muddies both flavours, so simply ask for more wasabi on the side if you love heat.

Gari (pickled ginger)

Gari is a palate cleanser between pieces, not a topping. A slice after a rich piece – otoro, uni, anago – resets your tongue for the next flavour. Some guests also use it as a small brush to dab soy onto maki; charming, optional.

Timing – the golden rule

If sushi etiquette had only one rule, it would be this: eat the piece when it is served. Nigiri is engineered around temperature – body-warm rice against cool fish – and that contrast fades within a minute. The chef times each piece to your pace; a piece left waiting while you finish an anecdote quietly loses everything it was built to be.

Behaving at the counter

A sushi counter is intimate: eight or ten seats, one craftsman, shared air. A few social notes follow naturally from that:

1. Conversation is welcomeAsk about the fish, the season, the wood of the counter. Quiet curiosity is the house currency.
2. Photos: food yes, people ask firstPhotographing your plate is fine almost everywhere. For the chef at work, one polite question first.
3. Phone on silentCalls step outside; the room is small enough that everyone attends your meeting with you.
4. Pace yourself with drinkSake with sushi is wonderful; a counter is not an izakaya. Merry is fine, loud is not.
5. The finish“Gochisousama deshita” (“thank you for the feast”) at the end lands beautifully in any accent.

Myths you can ignore

“You must eat omakase in silence.” False – counters run on conversation. Read the room, but never fear speaking.

“Ordering tamago first tests the chef.” A magazine legend. Order what you enjoy; nobody is grading you.

“You must never ask for more of one piece.” The opposite – an encore request flatters the house.

“Leaving gari means offense.” Gari is a condiment. Eat it or leave it freely.

“Foreigners are judged harshly.” The reverse is true: a visitor who shows the small courtesies above tends to receive the warmest welcome in the room.

Frequently asked questions

Reviewed by

The Head Chef of Sushi Tanji

Trained in the Edomae tradition, rooted in Kyushu, he leads the eight-seat omakase counter at Sushi Tanji in Oku-Akasaka, Tokyo – the house behind The Tokyo Sushi Guide.